Plan “your wishes”

Oh dear, its serious now. Its all about your wishes. Ok. Lots of people want different things at their funeral but never get the chance to discuss it with anyone. Lets face it if your Mother sat you down tonight and said “I want to talk to you about my funeral” you will probably say “oh dear Mum, lets not, its such a lovely day and anyway its years away”….. Well you might, and who could blame you. We are beginning to be able to talk about these things more openly than ever, but only when we are all ready to talk. Its difficult to have it dropped on you, out of the blue. You can’t say ” here’s a slice of fruit cake, oh and by the way I want to be cremated when I die”

So we have developed this “check list” for want of a better name, for use by anyone who just wants to make a few notes, perhaps in private, perhaps not, about what is to happen at the funeral. Its your wishes so write them down.

If you are recording your wishes, and you need ideas, give me a call on 01622 920305 if you are near the Bearsted office or 01622 920300 if you are near the Barming office, or the new office at Headcorn on 01622 920306. Ask for Karan or Rick or Tara and tell us what you are doing so we will know the sort of things to suggest.

We will improve it as people make suggestions, but in the meantime please help yourself. Once you have made some notes, keep it with your private papers so that it will be found when needed. You should be able to copy the following and paste into word, then you can print it off.

Full name (yes even the ones you have never used, or even declared)

Date of birth (the truth please) and where you were born.

The name and contact details of your Solicitor, and the name of the person you deal with there.

Are you for burial or cremation?

Would you prefer a religious or non-religious ceremony, and if a religious service, where should this be held. Sadly at the moment there is quite limited choice for the venue of a non-religious service.

Do you have a specific minister you’d like to ask to conduct the service. Or would you like the family to do it all themselves. This can be a very moving experience, and yes we will the there to help.

If you’d prefer a cremation, do you have a special place where you’d like your ashes scattered. Lots of choice, from the crematorium grounds to the grounds along Beachy Head.

If you’d prefer a burial, do you have somewhere in particular where you’d like to be buried?

Are there any specific groups or associations that you’d like notifying of your passing?

Would you like any particular family members or friends to act as coffin bearers, and if you do, who.

Is there anything special you’d like to adorn your coffin with. Just a single red rose, or the Union Jack.

Are there any special items you would like placed in your coffin?

Do you have any special words you’d like engraved on your headstone?

Do you have any favourite music or hymns that you would like played at the ceremony. Try to be bold if you can.

Are there any personal sentiments you wish to be expressed on your behalf during the ceremony?

Do you have a favourite poem or reading that you’d like incorporated into the service. If so please say which, and who you’d like to read it?

Would you prefer loved ones to give floral tributes or make charitable donations?  Please note down your favourite flower(s) or preferred charity.

What would you like loved ones to wear at your funeral?

Where would you like friends and loved ones to gather after the service. They may feel like celebrating!

Would you like an Obituary Notice in any newspaper(s)?  If so, please specify which publications?

Do you have any other wishes or requirements?